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St. Louis Fathers' Rights & Divorce Law Blog

Financial clues may warn you that divorce is coming: Part II

20142143_S.jpgEarlier this week, we began a discussion about financial clues that could indicate a spouse's intention to divorce. In too many instances, one spouse in a marriage begins planning the divorce in complete secrecy, only "dropping the bomb" when they have finished making their own preparations.

According to divorce financial planner Lili A. Vasileff, certain changes in your spouse's financial behavior and attitudes could be signs that he or she is secretly planning for divorce. In addition to some of the behaviors we mentioned in our first post, your spouse may suddenly start projecting a gloomy outlook about their future earning potential or financial security.

Financial clues may warn you that divorce is coming: Part I

36192361_S.jpgAre you headed for divorce? If you have plans to get a divorce, the answer is obviously "yes." But if you don't, you may still feel uneasy about the marriage without knowing why. Your spouse's behaviors and attitudes seem to be changing, but to what end?

In cases where one spouse initiates the divorce rather suddenly, the other spouse is often left feeling blindsided. In hindsight, however, they are able to interpret signs they had previously overlooked or dismissed. The telltale signs can be behavioral, emotional, financial or some combination of the three.

Gender, long-term illness and risk of divorce

29048352_S.jpgThere is seemingly no end to the stereotypes related to the differences between men and women. There is even an entire catalogue of relationship self-help books based on the premise that men and women are fundamentally different.

These stereotypes and generalizations usually contain at least a kernel of truth but cannot be considered universally accurate. That being said, the results of a recent study suggest that there is some truth to certain gender stereotypes about caregiving.

Parental divorce affects children differently at different ages

21694084_S.jpgWhen couples with children decide that they need to get a divorce, one of the biggest and most common worries they may have is how the divorce will impact their kids. And no matter what the child's age, divorce will impact him or her in some way.

As we have discussed in previous posts, staying together "for the kids" is a noble idea, but one that may end up doing more harm than good. This is, in part, because growing up in a home with constant tension and arguing is unhealthy. Therefore, when divorce is necessary, parents may wish to focus on understanding how divorce affects children of different ages and tailoring support strategies to each child.

Co-parenting mistakes to avoid: Badmouthing your ex to the kids

33855295_S.jpgIn our post earlier this week, we discussed the common co-parenting mistake of asking your kids to keep secrets from their other parent. While many divorced parents do this, it is a mistake because it can put your children in an awkward and even emotionally traumatizing position. Choosing sides isn't something kids should have to do.

In today's post, we'll discuss a similar co-parenting problem that can be even more damaging to children: badmouthing their other parent. Although you probably have some legitimate grievances with your ex-spouse, your children do not need to (and should not) hear the insulting and frustrated comments you may be tempted to make.

Should divorced co-parents ask their children to keep secrets?

18200481_S.jpgOne of the fundamental struggles of sharing child custody is the need for cooperation and communication between co-parents. The reason this is difficult, obviously, is that recently divorced spouses often have high amounts of animosity toward one another.

Unfortunately, children are the ones who suffer most when there is any fighting or lack of cooperation between their divorced parents. And things can get even more dicey when mom and dad ask the kids to keep secrets from their other parent.

What to remember if an ex is requesting too much in child support

34329912_S.jpgThere are many parents across St. Louis who are understandably nervous about paying child support. While mothers and fathers know that child support can be essential and is intended to contribute to the best interests of their child, the fact remains that it is still a financial obligation that many people are not quite prepared for.

In many cases, parents are afraid that child support payments will be unfair. The person paying support can feel like it is too high, while the parent receiving payments can feel like it is not enough. However, there are legal measures in place to ensure child support payment calculations are fair and manageable. Still, it can be easy to doubt the system.

Home-life stability especially important for kids during divorce

30091305_S.jpgIt's clear that we now live in the data age. So much information can be recorded, stored and analyzed that researchers are now able to observe behavior patterns like never before. Whether all of these studies are valuable, however, is a matter of some debate.

As just one example, a recent study found that children whose parents recently separated or divorced are more likely to drink sugar-sweetened beverages (like soda) than children living in homes with still-married parents. Although the results of this study are arguably trivial, the study itself does highlight an important truth about stability during times of transition.